Heat Wave 2012

Here in Michigan the 100 degree temperatures have finally ended as of yesterday Sunday, July 8th.  Most of the United States has been or is still under the heat wave.  For most people it is hot and somewhat uncomfortable, for us with Fibromyalgia it is at a higher level.  With Fibromyalgia we don't adjust as well to changes in temperatures especially extreme ones.

Many of you probably feel hotter then others around you, sweat more, and are just more miserable.  As it affects our bodies it affects our mood as well.  We feel guilty as we may be flaring and not able to make dinner, do laundry and other chores.  We may also not be able to participate in other activities and  have to just sit and watch or be left at home by ourselves, which causes us to become depressed and feel worthless.

For me I was miserable with the heat.  I was sweating way more then I normally would, though some of my medicines cause that for my Anxiety and Depression.  I just felt gross.  I would get where I felt sick no matter how I tried to cool off.  I even started drinking Powerade Zero.  I have never liked these beverages, but need to try anything to feel OK.

Now for my Fibromyalgia, other the exhaustion it was not too bad and that may have just been the heat.  Now yesterday we had our front move through with cooler temperatures in the 80's and that is when my back went into spasms and to touch me anywhere hurts.  It is probably a change in the temperatures as it was dramatic and the barometric meter readings may change.  That is the pressure in the air.  

Yesterday I medicated for the pain.  I have not yet done so today, but am thinking I may have to as I can barely move.  I am also tired as the pain kept me awake as i don't like to take the pain medicine with my nightly medicines.  Something I need to check with my doctors on as far as any interactions.  

Hopefully this is the biggest change we have to go though this summer.  I am not sure what we can do to help the Fibromyalgia symptoms in the heat, but will be doing research especially when I see temperatures looking to rise again.  For now if you are still in the part of the country that is part of the heat wave still, drink fluids, rest a lot, and try to be in air conditioning.  Don't over exert as it will hurt you later whether you have Fibromyaglia or not.

Two Scary Incidents

I want to post an entry into this blog again as times have been tough for me as I am sure it is for you with Fibromyalgia, Depression, and Anxiety.  This week in particular has been very hard with my emotions and that then turns into a lot of physical pain.  Physical pain then plays with your emotions.  For me right now my mental health is the worst, and what makes that even worse is because of ankle surgery it is hard to be proactive with things like exercise that will help me mentally.

This week has been very scary.  In the last two days I have had two experiences that really scared me and one was quite stupid.  I was ready to confront and take down a guy on a motorcycle who cut me off as he was going the wrong way, then blocked me.  I would have got out of my van and took him down if  I had not just had a new cast put on.  I did engage in an argument with him and really truly told him off.  I normally avoid any and all confrontations.  It was almost like I was out of my body or mind.  It was not me.

Second was last night after Jacob's baseball game.  We came home and I was fed up with the boys not listening, back talking, etc.  I started yelling and screaming until I realized what I was doing, then I went to the bedroom.  For some reason I came back out and the kids were fighting and yelling at me like how dare I ask them to do their chores.  I had enough.  I said, "I am leaving".  I went and put on my shoe and walked out the door and started down the road.

Ed chased me down, not that it was hard since my left leg is in a cast.  He stopped me and calmed me down and talked me back to the house.  Once he got me in the house he guided me to the bedroom and told me to stay there and he would deal with the kids.  Of course the guilt came in.  I had actually planned dinner and was going to cook till I couldn't find dishes or clean ones as the boys will not do them right.  That is what set me off.  So I did not cook.  The boys had sandwiches or something of the like, Ed ate cereal and when I calmed down I ate a little bit of carmel corn.

I am very drained physically and emotionally.  I am afraid to drive or be in public alone (without Ed).  Even when I do get out I can only be out for a short period of time or things like the above happen.  I have missed some of the boys games because I just can't go out of the house.  Sometimes I can't even leave the bedroom.  I feel so checked out and not there like I should be as a wife, mom, and friend.

If you have an mental issues don't be embarrassed.  Get help.  It is an illness and nothing to be ashamed of.  I am trying to bring more awareness to it as I believe so many don't get help that need to.  Even though I have had help for years I still wore down.  I am being treated now in different ways and have a long road ahead, but I know one thing.  I cannot ever give up the fight.  I have too many blessings not to fight and you do too if you look for them.

Missing Caleb's 1st Baseball Game of the Season

I know my blog has changed off the subject of raising kids with Fibromyalgia and focusing on anxiety and depression.  The same premise is here though.  Talking about raising kids, in my case 3 boys, when mom suffers from pain.  Anxiety and Depression do go very much hand in hand with Fibromyalgia.  I will be talking about them both as they are major things in my life.

I promised myself that this week I would see Jacob's and Caleb's first baseball games of the season if nothing else.  Well I don't think that is going to happen.  I am a mess today.  I can barely leave the bedroom, much less the house.  I called my husband, Ed and talk to him.  He assures me that Caleb will be OK.  It is his first game tonight and I don't think I am going to be able to get the courage up to go.

Last night I was at Jacob's game which was great.  Though I was anxious and nervous the whole time.  Why, I couldn't tell you.  Ever since I went into the hospital I have been developing the fear of going places and driving.   I am going to try to make Caleb's next game on Thursday if I can't get myself together to go tonight.  I have surgery on Friday and the next week I probably won't go to any, then Nicholas's games start and I will have to take him unless he can catch a ride.  It won't be easy but I have to.

I really scares me to suddenly be afraid of driving or going out in public.  Shoot I can't even just go outside hardly and today I don't want to leave the bedroom.  My therapist thinks is may be a bit of post traumatic from driving during the major meltdown and that it all started to come to a head in a large store.  It is just really confusing as I have always been independent going places and doing things.  Now I feel like a huge failure to myself, my husband, and my boys.

Now if Ed is driving I tend to do OK.  Though anxiety creeps in at time like if the traffic is too heavy or something like that.  I am lucky to have a husband that is such a rock for me.  He is always positive and wants to know what to do to help.  I wish I knew.

It just breaks my heart that I am such a mess and that I am missing things.  I also am having trouble taking care of things like cooking and laundry.  Everything is just too much these days.  I know for my guys I have to take this time to heal, but it is just so hard when I feel that I am letting them down and can't be the mom and wife I want to be.

No matter what illness or illnesses you suffer from, being a mom makes them hard, from not resting enough to feeling you have let everyone down.  Fibromyalgia, Anxiety, Depression, Stress and other invisible diseased make it harder as others don't understand.  So I hope by telling my stories not only am I getting therapy of getting it out, I hope you can relate to something and know you are not alone.

Bad Scoring and Slight Agoraphobia Now

We as moms with or without any debilitating thing are so stressed.  I feel like I am still falling apart despite medicine changes and therapy.  I am just so impatient.  I know this is going to be a long road for me to get back to myself so I can be everything I want to be; a great wife, mom, and friend.

I am really happy and I am happy I have finally found and am receiving the help I need.  That said, it is so overwhelming.  Today in therapy my therapist had me take the Breck Test I think it is called.  On one the anxiety part I score moderate, not the greatest.  On the depression part I got a 54 I think it was with 64 being the worst and something like 29 being moderate.  As you can see it is really going to take a commitment to feel better.  I am determined though no matter how long or what it takes.

I am also starting to develop a bit of agoraphobia he said.  I am afraid to drive or go out in public.  I am definitely in an avoidance phase with this.  Like tonight my wonderful husband has to manage all 3 boys baseball schedules while coaching  too as I cannot get myself to go.

I had to stop and pull myself together on the way home from therapy after a car pulled out in front.  I burst into tears and start a panic attack.  I start back on my way home only to go a block and have another car pull out in front of me making me slam on the brakes once again.  Now I am shaking, crying, and thinking of just getting out of the van.  But somewhere deep down I was able to keep myself going as I knew that was not rational, but it is very scary when this happens.

I am happy Edward took tomorrow off work to go with me to my pre-op appointment for my ankle surgery.  I was really getting terrified about driving into Ann Arbor/Ypsilanti in the morning.  I don't know if he took it off for this reason or because he wants to work on the bedroom and just wants to go along for support.  After my short drive home from Chelsea I am so happy he will be with me, probably driving.

I feel like I am disappointing my family so much.  It is hard not to be able to handle the boys stuff, cook, clean, etc.  I know depression and anxiety are diseases like all others but I have guilt building even though getting better is what I need to be focused on.  I love my guys so much and feeling like an outsider looking in is probably the hardest part of everything I go through.

Long road, tiny steps is how I have to look at life right now.  End goal is the end of the long road.  Daily goals are the small steps.  I must be patient and let medicine work and therapy guide me back to the real me.  It is hard and I hate it as I am happy, but my brain says otherwise.

I know I blog here a lot about Fibromyalia, but along with that I suffer from Depression and Anxiety as most do with Fibromyalgia.  Right now Depression and Anxiety have the best of me.  I am exhausted not only from all this, but the medicines as well.  I can hardly pull myself out of bed, and most days fall asleep mid afternoon.  I am not doing anything I absolutely don't have to.  Some of that is good, some not so good.

I have developed anxiety about leaving the house, driving and going into a store.  I only am going out when I have to.  It is better if I go with someone, but alone is almost debilitating.  Today I had to go see the psychiatrist and planned on getting us some groceries since this are getting pretty bare around here. I went to my appointment and as I talked with the doctor my anxiety grew.  By time I left I was almost in panic.  Not sure why.  I know he is there to help.  Maybe the thought of going to the store when I left.

As I got into the van and started driving the tears came.  By time I was by the grocery store I knew there was no way I could go in alone if at all.  I just kept driving towards home, crying the whole way.  This is so new to me.  I never really had trouble going anywhere even with my anxiety except maybe the doctor's office or a hospital.  I want to stay home when I am alone.  Maybe because it all happened at a large store, then I had to drive to the safety of my doctor's office then the E.R.

I feel so guilty and like a failure.  Yes my brain knows I have an illness just like heart disease or diabetes, but it seems so different too.  I know a lot about these conditions so I know it is a biochemical illness mostly in my case.  I have not had major traumas or anything like that, but I do have a high family risk.

I am not ashamed like some are that suffer from Mental Illness.  I know it is not anything I can control, but the negative feeling come up no matter how hard I try to put them away.  I have been a bit public with my hospitalization so others no they are not alone, that it is OK to get help, and to bring more awareness to Depression and Anxiety.

So even though I have been on medicines for years and for the most part they have always worked, I look at being hospitalized as a new beginning for the long road, but it will need to be done in tiny steps.  Sometimes the steps could be backwards in feeling even, but they are still steps to feel better.With something like Depression and Anxiety I will always struggle to some extent, but we can find a way to cope with it and live life normally, so never give up.  Take every tiny step you need, to get to the end of the long road.

Hospitalization

I ended up in the hospital, which was a great thing to start getting me back to me again. I melted down big time and started to have fleeting thought of suicide and just leaving my guys behind and go hide. I was extremely scared that I lost it forever, but now I know I can get the help I have been trying to get and with work I will be better.

I am concerned how it all affected my boys and my friend's daughter. All 4 were with me at Best Buy when I lost it. I cried from Ann Arbor to Chelsea and kept thinking I could just ram the van into the car in front of me, but I didn't and kept realizing that would hurt the kids and the other person so I kept an extra safe distance. I stayed in one lane of the hwy and just focused on getting to doctor's office.

Once at the doctor's I saw the psychologist I was seeing in the stress clinic and he sent me immediately to the ER and then into in patient behavioral health. I was anxious at first, but knew I was doing the right thing. As the days when on I felt better, but still not quite right. Then Tuesday evening it as a sudden change. I felt I was ready to come back home to my family and friends and start the out patient part.

So Wednesday I stuck to the schedule they had for us, but worked towards getting released. I was great to surprise the boys that mommy was home. I was home alone yesterday and just relaxed and not worry about things around the house. We headed out to get hubby's car and my phone back from Best Buy. That was something I knew I need to do. I had my husband and boys for support and I only got a few tears, but I walked back into that store with no panic attack. Though we both got back and realized we did not pick up his car from the hospital. I guess that will be tonight.

My reason for sharing this is not for you to feel sorry for me, but for you to know if you get out of control there is help everywhere. It will be OK and we don't need to hurt ourselves or others. Focus on warning signs too and get help before it gets this out of control. It would be the easier fix, but even at the point you are not in your so called "right" mind there is help. Listen to others as well as your self. I know I am blessed with many who care and even if you don't have a support system you can get one.

I am eager to start being my old self and restarting my life. You can have a happy life and be depressed, suffer anxiety, and a slue of many other mental illnesses. Don't allow others make you feel ashamed. Mental illness is a disease just like heart disease or diabetes. Get help if needed and never, ever give up.

Driving With Fibromyalgia

Driving with Fibromyalgia can be quite painful as we know, from uncomfortable seats, staying in one position for too long, and just the plain stress of driving.  I just read an article which is posted and quoted below about driving with Fibromyalgia.  It was part of an article about 4 common things that are easy for most, but not for us.  As a mom of 3 very active boys, doing some contracting work for a dental equipment repair business, and a direct sales consultant I do spend a lot of time in our van.

One day out visiting dental offices or running the boys from one field to another with a possibility of another town thrown in really can make me hurt.  It hurts to sit too long, especially behind the wheel when you can't even wiggle around some.  Then having your arms up to hold the wheel cause neck, arm and upper back pain.  Then the stress of people cutting you off, getting behind schedule because of a tractor (We live in the country.), now major construction project through our small town, not to count the issues of visiting the larger towns around when needed.  I have just read something I never thought of Fibromyalgia to cause.

As you will see in excerpt from About.com below it is talking about Fibro Fog and driving.  Forgetting where you are going, forgetting how to get somewhere, in bad cases disorientation.  Fortunately I am not to the point where I feel I am an unsafe driver, but I do sometimes find myself not paying attention maybe as well as I should whether the boys are with me or not.  I sometimes forget the area I just drove through and think "wow, how did I get here?".  Those kind of  things are scary to say the least.  I never related it to my Fibromyalgia, but it made so much sense to me as I was reading.  Even medications we take can make us a bit out of it and affect our driving.

Now I have realized this I feel it will make me a stronger driver.  I will make sure I am more aware, not drive as much if possible when having a bad day physically because that will affect how we react, pay attention, and just driving in general.  I haul very precious cargo many times that I am driving called Nicholas, Jacob, and Caleb.  Edward too.  Nothing would be worse then hurting them or someone else because I was out of it.  I am pledging to look at myself more seriously as a Fibro Driver and hope you do as well.  Read the clip below for full information I read and I hope it helps you be safe and protect those around you.

Driving
Brain fog can be a major problem when you're behind the wheel. Some of us periodically forget where we're going or how to get there. Even worse, we may become disoriented and not know where we are.
It's scary when this happens and can lead to an anxiety attack, which makes the situation even worse and can increase other symptoms.
Some of us also have trouble paying attention to the myriad things that we need to while driving. We may not be able to process all the necessary information to be safe on the road.
A small fraction of people with these illnesses stops driving completely. Some may have to limit their driving to familiar places, while others are okay most of the time but choose not to drive on especially bad days. It's a personal decision, but one that we need to be aware of to protect ourselves and others.

As you evaluate your driving ability, it may help to get input from friends and family members who've ridden with you, as they may have noticed things you didn't.

http://chronicfatigue.about.com/od/copingwithfmscfs/a/4-Things-Its-Hard-To-Do-With-Fibromyalgia-And-Chronic-Fatigue-Syndrome.htm?nl=1

A few tips I think would be helpful for us are driving only when rested.  Also if you have a long drive, stop frequently, get out and stretch.  One thing on my van I never had before is heated seats.  This is great in the cold or on a painful day that I have to be out.  Also in cold warm your vehicle up, in the hot weather start it with the air on so you don't have extreme temperatures that will make you hurt.  Keep distractions to a minimum (good for all people), turn off cell or ignore it even with a headset, keep radio low or off especially if you have others in the car.  I know too much noise driving or riding in a car makes me really irritable..  Irritability causes road rage and stress.  We don't need that.  Just a little input from me to keep us safe.  Please comment if you have a safe or comfortable driving tip.

Paleo Diet Ok'd by Doctor

Today was another doctor's visit.  I went in as a follow up to twitching and the medicine another put me on when my primary was out of town.  Nothing new to report really.  My doctor wants to give me another month to let the medicine work to its fullest potential and see if it is making me tired as I have been having a really bad bout of the sleepy times this week.  Worse then ever.  Could be the medicine, but at the dose it shouldn't be but we all know we all react differently to medicines.

The main theory is that I am still coming off the stress of extra people in the house, even though I did not feel that much stress, the doctors say it is very stressful as routines are changed and we had the stress of helping support them.  Now we are struggling a bit as we catch up and things are breaking, but we will be OK there, just the way life is for everyone.

I am reading up on diets for Fibromyalgia and hoping to get at least myself and hopefully the family to follow on eating in a healthful way.  I know dinner is no option for them if I do the cooking, but would like them to follow a plan to eat better all the time too.  Right now I am in the middle of reading the "Paleo Diet" book that was recommended to be by a friend when I said I wanted to start eating more cleanly.  I had the book with me at the doctor's office today hoping to get in some reading time.  My doctor saw it and told me it was a very good idea and can't really hurt to try.

As we discussed the so called caveman diet, I brought up reading about going Gluten-Free.  He also said that is worth a try.  So I think my goal is to finish reading the book by the weekend, get groceries to support this lifestyle and give it a whirl.  I don't think I have much to lose except a lot of weight and maybe some pain.  That is my hope.  If it makes me feel better it will be much easier to stick to.  I am sure I will have splurges, but they will need to be calculated.

With spring coming I need to start feeling better as our nights will be filled with baseball games and practice, along with a lot of running around.  That on top of my Sales Representative position with Everley Dental Equipment Repair, LLC, and my home based business with Lindt Chocolate R.S.V.P. I need to have more energy and less pain.  I hope a better eating plan will help.

I also know I need the exercise.  I really want to try yoga and I found a place close by that is 2 times per week, but with baseball and Ed's schedule not sure I can do now, but I think I am going to try to start walking with our dog.  He needs to lose weight too since he is sneaking into the cats food.  I may just start with up and down our private drive and work up from there.  A start is a start and it should be small as not to flare.  Many think oh it is a good day I will do as much as I can instead of pacing themselves.  All that does is backfires and makes you down for a longer time.  Set small goals daily, do them, then rest.

So today I have learned eating better like we did thousands of years ago is a good thing, and that stress reduction in all lives is necessary.  Even if you don't feel stress in our society you are.  Some handle it better then others so never judge a person until you have lived it.

Share and Educate

I feel it is really important to educate those that are close to you about your chronic conditions be it Fibromyalgia, Anxiety, Depression, or any other chronic condition you suffer from.  Without educating your family and friends they cannot begin to understand what you are going through and why you may be acting a certain way.  It is easy to find information on any condition via the Internet or asking your doctor.  It may even be good for them to find a support group to help the learn more and be able to talk with other who support loved with chronic conditions.

I decided I needed to blog about this after last night.  I had what I call a meltdown.  Everything came pouring out.  I was crying, babbling, and in a very scary spot for those around me.  My Fibromyalgia, anxiety, panic attacks, and depression got the best of me yesterday.  I was even so dizzy I fell back into the closet door and bruised my back.

Last night when I calmed down and such I vented some on Facebook so I did not put as much on my family, though my husband, Ed, was right by me during the whole episode.  After all the concern from friends and then Ed checking in on me today because he was worried I realized just what I put everyone through.  When I worry and scare my husband I know it was bad as he is not a worrier.  Yes the opposite of me.

I have read articles about talking with family and friends about your conditions.  I have had Ed and Nicholas, my oldest son read a few that are for the support people of a person suffering from the conditions I suffer from.  But after I chatted with my husband I have decided he needs to learn more not only to be educated, but to help me when I have these meltdowns.  They need to learn during this period of emotional breakdown I am having I need to be loved, understood, and not pressured to be something I am not.  These are real conditions and something we cannot snap out of and for me it usually will affect me for a few days after the episode.

So while we focus on ourselves, which is extremely important it is also important to sit down and talk to those that care about us.  Find information from Internet articles, books, or taking them to the doctor with you if you are comfortable with that.  They need help understanding what we go through on a daily basis.  We also need to be considerate of their feelings.  Communication is the key to helping everyone have the best information to help with each others needs.  Please check my link section for some areas to start, then branch out on what is specific to you personally.  Also please feel free to share links in the comment section.  Let's help each other while helping those we love understand.

Taking Charge

It is time for me to take charge of my health so I can feel better, be the wife and mom, and friend I want and need to be.  My in laws are now gone and I am going to start my better lifestyle any day now.  Eating better and some sort of exercising is on the agenda.

I am also looking at going up to the University of Michigan to their Fibromyalgia or Chronic Pain Clinic.  This was suggested by the psychologist in the doctor's office I have been seeing in the stress clinic.  So I will get a referral from my primary doctor and get some help from some experts in the area.  This is something I should have done quite a while back.

I am also trying to journal and keep track of feeling, pain, and anything whether it is good or bad.  Even if it is just the date and time and one word describing how I feel like tire, pain, happy, or sad.  This way I can look back and see how I have been doing overall.

I have also been told to set a daily affirmation.  So when I wake up I tell myself at least one thing I will do that day.  It can be as simple as I will get up and shower or that I will wash at least one load of laundry.  The important thing to do when doing this is to set your affirmation that you know you are going to be successful at so you have the uplifting feeling of at least one accomplishment a day.  Usually if it is a chore or something like that once I get it done I will do more, but be careful not to over do it and end up in a flare.

I am still working on this twitching.  My doctor decided to cut my Cymbalta in 1/2.  I am still twitching, but I can't tell for sure but I think it may have lessened.  Not by amount but by intensity.  It still scares me, but maybe I need to go off all serotonin stuff for a bit and hope I can deal with my anxiety and depression.  Or maybe it is some of the things I have been doing to reduce stress.  Either way, I will keep at it till gone as it really makes my body hurt and it prevents sleeping until I drop.

I am searching the web for a good lifestyle of food.  I order the Paleo Diet book last night as I am looking to cut out preservatives, dyes, etc.  I want to eat more natural.  I know a lot about what is what, but I want to learn more so I can maybe still buy some prepared foods for those bad days or busy days and I am going back to a lot more cooking from scratch.

Yoga is a huge thing I am looking into.   One place that is actually not too far away from me has added a second day so I think I may try a drop in class and see if it is for me.  Since I have Fibromyalgia I need a class where you go at your own rate at one day I can touch my toes, but the next I may not be able to.

I am hoping by doing some of these things I will be able to keep up with my boys better, keep house up better and most important feel better.  I suggest you try some of these things along with me and let me know how it helps you.  I have been reading a lot online about sensitivities and Fibro Flares.  If you have something to add, I would love to hear from you.

Times have been tough.  Too much going on and I have been having constant pain that is more then normal.  I have not yet figured out if it is stress, weather, or just a normal flare that is a bit worse then normal.  The past week has been a lot of bed time and doing nothing.  Fortunately my sister in law and family are still here and have picked up my slack.  Not sure how all this is going to work when they leave.  I hope now things are starting to get back together, my guys and I will be able to keep it up.

Today I forced myself to go out to dental offices to sell handpiece repair service (everleyhandpiecerepair.com)  I am working for a friend.  It was an almost impossible task today.  I have aches and pain where I don't normally have them, I think maybe from this twitching going on.  Saturday I have to make myself go to a vendor show where I am premiering myself as a Lindt R.S.V.P. Chocolate Representative (www.mylindtchocolatersvp.com/shannonkurgin/), the dinner with friends for their anniversary.  Hoping I will be at least a bit better by then.

I am going to have to figure out this pain and supposedly the in laws will be leaving by the end of the week. No more getting dinner made and help with the boys.  That part has been wonderful. They took off the wallpaper in the Kitchen and Dining Room and painted it a nice cheerful color and help out a lot with getting the house in order.  Just the office and part of our room is left.  Thank you Ken and Ronni.

I never know when to call the doctor for the pain and when to tough it out.  The biggest thing right now is the twitching.  I think it is exhausting my muscles and causing the pain. My doctor has upped my Klonopin to 3 times per day and has me doing a stress clinic through the office.  It is great and I got lot of great ideas, but with so many in the house not much me time for mediation and the like.  I do have some "homework" I could get done, but with the pain it is hard.  Just typing is hurting so journaling and making a plan to take care of me has been hard, but it is something I must do and want to do.  I suggest everyone do this not only to keep track of your pain and other symptoms of fibromyalgia, but it can be a great release and as for the plan to care for yourself can't hurt.

So I will rest and see what I can do to feel better, but each day I intend to work through the pain some and do small tasks, and in small steps.  I feel keeping going without over doing it is always your best bet.  I am starting to take charge of my life and with fibromyalgia there may be down times, days, or weeks, maybe more, but it is a must to keep like going at a pace that you can handle.

Helping In-laws, Burden or Not

It has been a very interesting start to 2012.  We have had my sister in law and her family move in with us temporarily until they can get their income tax and move back to Florida where Ken, her husband will be able to find work since he does sprinkler systems.  I was really stressed out before they got here about how we would all get a long and deal with a total of 6 kids between us, but it has not been bad at all.

One good thing about them being here is they are really helping out.  Ronni and Ken have been a blessing getting our house back together after the tile project that took forever.  I am starting to feel at home again and that I can enjoy our home.  They have been doing the deep cleaning that I struggle with and may never have got it all done.

Another great thing is that I have really got to spend some good, quality time with our nephews Blake and Garrett and our niece Chloe.  It is nice because the boys have never spent time with us.  Chloe is spending time back and forth between us and my other sister in law.  Chloe was a big part of our life when she was little and it is hard to believe she is 17 and almost grown up.

I am still physically in pain all the time and the twitching started back up and the doctor thinks this time it is stress.  It started before everyone moved in so I know that is not the stress causing all the twitching.  I will be going to the stress clinic in the doctor's office for starters at least.  It is kind of scary and as many of you know that with Fibromyalgia along comes anxiety.  My SIL is keep me in good spirits and keeping me from hiding in bed all day wallowing in self pity.  Yet another good thing.

So the worry about helping out family and taking them in has not been an issue, at least not as of yet.  It is actually a kind of blessing in disguise.  We are helping each other and that is what family should be.  I am very blessed to have a great family and great in laws.  I think I will really miss them when they move on, but I know it will be good for us both to stand on our own.