Oh Boy! It has surely been tough lately for me emotionally. I am sinking lower and hiding from the world. The stressors in my life have been non stop. As you know with Fibromyalgia stress, anxiety and depression go hand in hand and feed off one another.
Since Friday night last week I have had a ton of panic attacks. Some of it brought on by the fact I realized then I had to put down my beloved Siamese Ate' that has been part of my life for 18 plus years. She was with me since I have been on my own as an adult. Saturday morning was extremely sad and difficult for me.
Then my boys who I love more then anything and revolve my life around have been pushing me to my limits. Complete disrespect for Ed, me and our home. They trash the house, which I just can't keep up on. The boys refuse to do their chores or help out. It does not matter what we take away from them. Stress, Stress, Stress. Three boys, 3 stressors.
Those are big things and usually will stress most anyone at any time. Well I am noticing little things are getting to me as well. I drop a fork or something as an example and I will break down and cry. The tension in body is so bad. The tension is causing pain. If you touch me it hurts. Have to remind hubby to do gentle hugs.
Called the doctor. Talked with his nurse and they upped one of my medications and he wants to see me. The kicker is I can't get in till Monday. I called this past Monday when I had no control of my panic attacks. I don't know if I sounded bad, but the nurse made sure I knew where the Psychiatric E. R. was at U of M Hospital. I am not suicidal. Just sick of everything. I am sure I will be a lot better by time I go in so I don't see a point, but I will go and spill the latest to him. Maybe a medicine change is needed. I know he wants me in counseling which we have not figured out in our budget, but I may just have to break down and go.
My husband, Ed has been wonderful. He is so supportive and loving when I meltdown. I feel guilty to put it on him, hence more stress, more panic attacks, and more pain. I am blessed with him and other family and friends who support me and are always there for me when I am down.
Anxiety, Depression, Fibromyalgia play on one another from my experience. Anxiety causes pain, pain causes Depression and the cycle continues till you can break it. Someone with our condition of Fibromyalgia has a hard time breaking this cycle. I do know we need lots of love and support. Medicines and counseling can help. Perseverance through life is a must.
When things overwhelmed you and you don't think you can do it. Remember you are a worthwhile person and that you are loved. Get help if need and turn to others who understand. Never go it alone.