Times have been tough even though I was determine to take charge and make 2011 a better year. I have really been struggling to feel good. I am still trying to heal my sprained ankle since October. For about a month and half I have been struggling with a bad, nasty bug. It went from cold, to strep and ear infections, back to cold and a sinus infection and a nose full of pus. Yes, I know gross.
I have been in Physical Therapy twice a week and they have added pool therapy as well for my ankle. It is a bit better. I have orthotics now and need to go get fitted for better shoes. My lack of activity is really taking its toll on me though. I notice how weak I have become since I sprained my ankle and I would not say I was strong to start.
I am falling into a depression again. My 3 boys are hand full and I can't chase them down and make them do as told. They are definately taking advantage of that. House is trashed, laudry is piled sky high, nothing is ever put away. I hate it and it makes me feel worse. I can't get upset with hubby. He tries but works a minimum of 12-14 hours a day right now. His car died and we need money to get a new one.
Between being sick, not being able to walk much, and depression I am sleeping a lot and not doing much of anything if I can avoid it. My Avon administrative work does keep me going fortunately. It does give me a sense of accomplishment at least even though nothing else in my life does.
Winter has been long and cold which does not help any motivation. I hope we will have some sun and warmer weather very soon and then maybe I can do a few things. There are things I can do without being on my feet, I just can't get myself to do them. I am in a vicious cycle of guilt. I need to break that. Guilty I can't do stuff, guilty that I put it on Ed, guilty I lose my patience with the boys.
I know spring and summer will be better. The warmth and sun helps my mood and energy level. Plus I get little getaways to our camper. I think what I need is a vacation with a maid at home cleaning so I can come home to everything in order instead of chaos. Wish I could do that. Maybe one day.