Just finished round three of antibiotics. YEAH! The last ones were really rough on stomach. I hope this means I have beaten all the yuckies I had in my system.
That being said I think being sick for so long is starting a major flare though I did have a few changes in things this weekend. Out and about more, new shoes finally for that sprained ankle (so great), and riding in the car a good chunk of the weekend. All I know is I am really hurting in my lower back and neck.
I think my body has been drained. I am trying to get back to normal so I can do more with the boys and make then be the great kids I know are in them. I need to be more hands on then I have been, but it is so hard some days. I also need to get this house in shape again. Everything is so far behind and trashed.
I am still struggling with my ankle and unless doctor says no my Physical Therapist wants to continue for at least another month. I do know it is getting better and the new shoes seem to really help. It is still sore especially with certain movements but I see improvement finally.
It is great to feel some improvements but at the same time if I am starting to flare I am not sure how I will react emotionally. I already want to hide from the world. It will set back my goals once again. That is hard as I want so much done, but I know to take small steps at a time. Just need no one to trash faster then my steps.
I will be working out of home tomorrow and my wonderful husband is taking Tuesday off to car shop. Looking for a car for him to drive to work and possibly a car for me so we can park our Expedition that is old, but we need to last for the camper. I think Wednesday I will take a day of resting and relaxing outside of Avon work I do from home and if I am up to a few small tasks.
Chores are always there, but it feels good to see I may be able to do some really, really soon. Just avoid all nasty little germy bugs, get ankle better and start caring for myself better. Maybe, just maybe I can have this flare pass quickly so I can again try to be the mom and wife I struggle to be daily.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
Tough Times
Times have been tough even though I was determine to take charge and make 2011 a better year. I have really been struggling to feel good. I am still trying to heal my sprained ankle since October. For about a month and half I have been struggling with a bad, nasty bug. It went from cold, to strep and ear infections, back to cold and a sinus infection and a nose full of pus. Yes, I know gross.
I have been in Physical Therapy twice a week and they have added pool therapy as well for my ankle. It is a bit better. I have orthotics now and need to go get fitted for better shoes. My lack of activity is really taking its toll on me though. I notice how weak I have become since I sprained my ankle and I would not say I was strong to start.
I am falling into a depression again. My 3 boys are hand full and I can't chase them down and make them do as told. They are definately taking advantage of that. House is trashed, laudry is piled sky high, nothing is ever put away. I hate it and it makes me feel worse. I can't get upset with hubby. He tries but works a minimum of 12-14 hours a day right now. His car died and we need money to get a new one.
Between being sick, not being able to walk much, and depression I am sleeping a lot and not doing much of anything if I can avoid it. My Avon administrative work does keep me going fortunately. It does give me a sense of accomplishment at least even though nothing else in my life does.
Winter has been long and cold which does not help any motivation. I hope we will have some sun and warmer weather very soon and then maybe I can do a few things. There are things I can do without being on my feet, I just can't get myself to do them. I am in a vicious cycle of guilt. I need to break that. Guilty I can't do stuff, guilty that I put it on Ed, guilty I lose my patience with the boys.
I know spring and summer will be better. The warmth and sun helps my mood and energy level. Plus I get little getaways to our camper. I think what I need is a vacation with a maid at home cleaning so I can come home to everything in order instead of chaos. Wish I could do that. Maybe one day.
I have been in Physical Therapy twice a week and they have added pool therapy as well for my ankle. It is a bit better. I have orthotics now and need to go get fitted for better shoes. My lack of activity is really taking its toll on me though. I notice how weak I have become since I sprained my ankle and I would not say I was strong to start.
I am falling into a depression again. My 3 boys are hand full and I can't chase them down and make them do as told. They are definately taking advantage of that. House is trashed, laudry is piled sky high, nothing is ever put away. I hate it and it makes me feel worse. I can't get upset with hubby. He tries but works a minimum of 12-14 hours a day right now. His car died and we need money to get a new one.
Between being sick, not being able to walk much, and depression I am sleeping a lot and not doing much of anything if I can avoid it. My Avon administrative work does keep me going fortunately. It does give me a sense of accomplishment at least even though nothing else in my life does.
Winter has been long and cold which does not help any motivation. I hope we will have some sun and warmer weather very soon and then maybe I can do a few things. There are things I can do without being on my feet, I just can't get myself to do them. I am in a vicious cycle of guilt. I need to break that. Guilty I can't do stuff, guilty that I put it on Ed, guilty I lose my patience with the boys.
I know spring and summer will be better. The warmth and sun helps my mood and energy level. Plus I get little getaways to our camper. I think what I need is a vacation with a maid at home cleaning so I can come home to everything in order instead of chaos. Wish I could do that. Maybe one day.
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