Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Sick Too Long

On month and I am still struggling to get better from the nasty, nasty bug.  School has started back up during this time and it has made it really hard to get the school year off to a good start.  I feel I am not there for the boys they way I would like to be.  I barely can get out of bed.

I have a double ear infection, sinus infection, and just a nasty little bug that won't go away.  I am on my 3rd antibiotic.  I am now also on a nasal spray and inhaler, as well as Mucinex and a cough suppressant at night.  I was put on Ciprofloxacin (Cipro) this last time.  At least I am protected from Anthrax.  LOL!!!  Though the Cipro has me concerned about my ankle surgery as the very first warning on the paper that comes with all new medicines is that it causes tendon problems from tendonitis to tendon rupture.  I really need to stop reading the warnings as it increases my anxiety.

Well,  being sick for a month is also starting to flare up the Fibro.  I am hurting head to toe.  Yes being sick does that, but I have dealt with this I can tell the 2 apart.  The coughing I am doing isn't helping the pain either.  Back is in spasms. 

I am struggling to help my boys as when I get up I go into coughing fits if I exert at all.  I can't even call them downstairs without the cough.  I barely can drive them to football practice.  Trying to get them to do homework is next to impossible.  Chores just forget.  I can't be on them to do it.  I am exhausted much worse then normal.  I feel guilty that I am having trouble cooking a good dinner, sleeping when they are around, and asking my wonderful husband to pick up any slack he can.

I know in my brain I need to rest and ask for help, but in my heart the guilt comes in.  Took me all day to get the energy up to write out the Birthday invitations for Caleb's party.  I did get them done and we are all set except ordering or making a cake.  It was a struggle to make  sure I did it though and more then anything I want him to have his kids party.  We already put it off one year.

If the boys come to me I am happy to help and do what I can or ask Ed to help them, but I am having trouble actively checking folders, planners, and backpacks.  Not able to make them do anything if they decide they don't want to.  They have no respect or empathy it seems at times.

I go for a CT scan of my sinuses tomorrow and maybe that will give answers as to why I won't get better.  I want to feel better so bad so I can go back to being a good mom and wife.

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