Friend, That's What Matters

I am very happy that my dear friend, Kathy has come to visit.  She is only up from Florida for one day, but I get to spend the day with her and her kids.  I miss her terribly since we were basically living across the field from one another till this past summer.  She will also be back for Thanksgiving so I should be able to see her then too.

I love all my friends dearly.  I am very blessed to have them in my life whether they are friends from when I was a little child or friends I have recently met.  Some are only online so far, but they support me as much as the ones that are local. 

I find you need at least a few good friends you can rely on in life no matter what.  That don't judge you and accept you for who you are.  They pick you up if you make a mistake and help you fix it, not get mad and storm off and disown you.  Those friends are what help make a person happy in life.  I am blessed to have so many that are like this.

My friends understand my struggles with Fibromyalgia, raising my boys, making a home with my wonderful husband.  They help when needed even if not wanted.  They know I need it, and make me accept it.  They accept me entirely for who I am, not what I do or do not have.

So make sure you find yourself a few good friends, at least one, that you can rely on and lean on when you needed.  Then return the favor when they are in need.  This is what life is all about.  Family and friends.  Nothing else really matters.  With this you can get through your struggles with Fibromyalgia or any other struggles you face day to day.  I know it helps me.  Thank you to all my wonderful friends.  I love each and every one of you.

Doctor Appointment Easy

Well, all the stress and anxiety awaiting my doctor's visit was pointless.  It was a very easy appointment.  Since I am on the 3 year plan for pap smears I did not have to endure that torture.  No blood work needed as I had that done in the summer when I was combating the Serotonin Syndrome.  Only thing that was not fun was the flu shot.  Well nothing is really fun, but I am sure you know what I mean.

Everything is finally looking good.  Still a bit of healing and I need to lose weight as I gained back everything I lost a couple of years ago, but that is what happens when you are down for so long and M&M's keep ending up the house.  LOL!  My weight loss and exercise goal is to start after the first of the year.  I need to finish healing and I know myself well enough to know that the holiday season is not a good time to start a weight loss program.

The flu shot was rough.  It was only a little prick, but it sent pain up to my neck.  With that and the things I did yesterday I am flaring today.  A flare from the shot is much better then a flare from the flu and the flu so get you shot or mist.  I had to get the shot because of my sinus recovery.  Everything is starting to really hurt so I will be taking Vicoden and resting.  I did take care of errands and got dinner into crock pot so my family can eat and not have to fend for themselves too much. 

I hope through the Vicoden fog and flaring I can get some more done this evening as I have a friend flying in for 2 days.  If not I pray my boys will help, but they haven't been cooperative at all lately.  Fortunately my friend knows how our house has been and loves us for us and will help if she can.  Just more important to take care of me so I can enjoy our time together.

So finally after a year of one ailment or another I finally feel things looking up.  At least in the health area.  We raised my Cymbalta back up to the level I was on before all the Serotonin stuff so I hope some of the aches and pains will be better and also as I get more active again will help as long as I remember step by step and not to push too much.  I am very happy with today's results.

Yearly Check Ups

It is that wonderful time of year again.  Yes, check up time for the boys and I.  The fun it all carries for us getting looked, vaccines, and flu shot or mists.

All 3 boys were seen today and have had the flu mist.  All are in great health and growing good.  Nicholas could stand to be a bit more active.  Caleb and Nicholas each had to get a shot as well.  Caleb for only being 6 was so brave and no tears.  Nicholas, 13, thought the world was ending.  LOL!  I am so blessed to have very healthy boys that rarely get sick.

Tomorrow morning is my turn and with that the hope that the next year will be much better medically speaking.  I am still healing from my sinus surgery, but that is all going very well.  My ankle is better and I am still working to get it stronger so I don't have trouble in the future.  The Serotonin Syndrome is at bay I believe.  It will be a time to plan and figure out where to go.  What medicines to continue, which ones to stop and can I start vitamins again? 

I know with being down and not as active when I do something I flare much easier.  Now that I have been feeling a bit better I am trying to accomplish things around the house that no one has really helped with.  Trying to get the boys to help with things like bending over that are difficult, but they are stubborn and do not want to help.  So I am attempting small steps everyday and forcing myself to do something.

I hope we can plan for me to keep on the path of feeling better and get focused back on my Fibromyalgia, Depression, and Anxiety so I can get this all back under control. I hope when this happens I can get back to "my normal".  I won't have the energy and the ability to do what a lot of others do daily and I will have limitations, but now is the time for me to try and take back my life and get my health on the right track.  It has been a long year of one aliment after another and I look forward to good health once again.

I hope other then another few follow ups with the ENT my doctor's visit will be the last one for a while.  I am sure the flu shot will knock me down, but not nearly as much as the flu would.  I will be getting back to some medicines to feel better, and probably routine blood test which I will expect to come back normal as a positive thought and if not I will tackle it, but hoping for the best so I can move on to dieting and exercise and a sense of well being.  That is all I want.

Simple Things Hurt

Today is an extremely bad day.  Every part of my body aches, as well as my 2 month sinus infection I am having surgery on Friday.  It is even hurting to type today, so I feel this post is important so those of you who suffer with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain know you are not alone.

I need to be preparing for surgery by doing laundry, packing an overnight bag for my boys, and cleaning up what I can.  Yes house is still in chaos as floor is not done.  Instead I am in bed hurting so bad.  I can't even take medicine for the pain as all I can take is Tylenol and that won't even touch a thing until my surgery. 

At least today is not a high powered day.  I only have to get one son to football practice and the another to Scouts if he behaves.  I may have over done it yesterday, but I don't feel like I did all that much.  At least not as much as most moms do daily, especially working ones.  I know this sinus infection is beating my body down.  Sad when you start to look forward to surgery and get more excited each day closer you get.  Though I know it should make me feel better.

At this point today I am not sure what I can do to relieve the pain.  Only thing I really can do is rest and maybe use some heat.  I may search to see if I can find something else to do without medicine.  I just feel like a loser and a bad mom and wife lately as I been flaring and sick.  I can't even get a few loads of laundry done to pack my boys today.  Maybe tomorrow or I will have to some how make them wash the stuff themselves.  It would be better if they would help instead of being little boogers.

Suffering like this is terrible.  Many just don't understand.  I post on Facebook, Twitter, my blog here and the like and I am sure many just think I am whining, but I am venting it out as not to put on my family as much.  Trying to decide if I can ask hubby to grab Jacob for football, but that puts him out and they may be late.  Then I feel guilt.  I don't win either way.  I am sure you understand this if you are in this position. 

I have learned over time to take the time for myself though.  If I don't it just gets worse and worse and then I never get where I can do anything.  So if you are suffering, make it as much as possible a you day.  Every mom needs them, some just need them more then others.

Sick Too Long

On month and I am still struggling to get better from the nasty, nasty bug.  School has started back up during this time and it has made it really hard to get the school year off to a good start.  I feel I am not there for the boys they way I would like to be.  I barely can get out of bed.

I have a double ear infection, sinus infection, and just a nasty little bug that won't go away.  I am on my 3rd antibiotic.  I am now also on a nasal spray and inhaler, as well as Mucinex and a cough suppressant at night.  I was put on Ciprofloxacin (Cipro) this last time.  At least I am protected from Anthrax.  LOL!!!  Though the Cipro has me concerned about my ankle surgery as the very first warning on the paper that comes with all new medicines is that it causes tendon problems from tendonitis to tendon rupture.  I really need to stop reading the warnings as it increases my anxiety.

Well,  being sick for a month is also starting to flare up the Fibro.  I am hurting head to toe.  Yes being sick does that, but I have dealt with this I can tell the 2 apart.  The coughing I am doing isn't helping the pain either.  Back is in spasms. 

I am struggling to help my boys as when I get up I go into coughing fits if I exert at all.  I can't even call them downstairs without the cough.  I barely can drive them to football practice.  Trying to get them to do homework is next to impossible.  Chores just forget.  I can't be on them to do it.  I am exhausted much worse then normal.  I feel guilty that I am having trouble cooking a good dinner, sleeping when they are around, and asking my wonderful husband to pick up any slack he can.

I know in my brain I need to rest and ask for help, but in my heart the guilt comes in.  Took me all day to get the energy up to write out the Birthday invitations for Caleb's party.  I did get them done and we are all set except ordering or making a cake.  It was a struggle to make  sure I did it though and more then anything I want him to have his kids party.  We already put it off one year.

If the boys come to me I am happy to help and do what I can or ask Ed to help them, but I am having trouble actively checking folders, planners, and backpacks.  Not able to make them do anything if they decide they don't want to.  They have no respect or empathy it seems at times.

I go for a CT scan of my sinuses tomorrow and maybe that will give answers as to why I won't get better.  I want to feel better so bad so I can go back to being a good mom and wife.

Serotonin Syndrome/Clonazepam Withdrawl

I am learning that you really must be on top of every medications, supplement, or vitamin that is prescribed to you.  Sometimes even asking questions is not enough.  Right now I am being looked at for the possibility of Serotonin Syndrome and less possible Clonazepam withdrawal.  I have ask questions about interactions and always list what I am taking.

I have been seeing 3 doctors, my primary, my orthopedist, and my psychiatrist.  I have been on Cymbalta for quite some time along with Clonazepam.  I start going to U of M Psych clinic and have been seen by 2 doctors there.  The first one puts me on Lexapro slowly and starts to taper off Clonazepam, the second doctor does the same.  These are both residents. They are doctors but schooling in psychiatry overseen by a superior.  I asked inf these medicine are all compatible.  Yes the Cymbalta and Lexapro are, but we don't like to see long term use of the Clonazepam or Valium you have also taken in the past.  OK, so I go fill the prescription.

Then I have surgery for my ankle on July 11th this summer.  All goes well.  A little slow in healing due to the Fibromyalgia.  In the hospital I was put on one aspirin to thin blood and prevent clots from forming.  I asked if OK and they went and research and said for what they were using it for it our ways the risk they are concerned with NSAIDs and Cymbalta.  Ok, I have been told this before for short term usage, just not on regular basis.  For pain I was given Percoset and Flexaril.  I have never had trouble with these medications and I stop them as soon as I can as I don't like the fogginess I get and I get knocked.

When these symptoms of twitch, jerking, and uncontrolled movements I called the doctor, thinking since I just recently went off the Clonazepam I may be going through a withdrawal.  After a discussion with a very snotty nurse I got her to run this by my primary doctor.  When the nurse called back she told me he thinks it might be Serontonin Syndrome, cut the Lexapro in half, and follow up with my psychiatrist.  That is the next call I make.  The psychiatrist thinks it is Clonazepam withdrawal and tells me to keep taking the Lexapro and Cymbalta together.

So that night I did some research on both.  In my opinion I agreed with my primary doctor that it sounded like Serotonin Syndrome.  From the articles I read on sites like the National Institute for Health and WebMD it really did not sound like a withdrawal to me, even though a few symptoms overlapped.  Oh well I thought and went to bed. 

The next morning I was having the twitches and jerking almost constantly.  I call the psychiatrist and he has me take a Clonazepam.  It makes me a bit sleepy and maybe knocks down the symptoms a bit.  By this time I am really worried and my anxiety is soring.  I decided I needed to be seen either at the E.R. or my doctor's office.  I make an appointment with a Resident whose superior is my Primary doctor. 

They both talk to me when I come in to the office.  The resident does an examine and test reflexes and such.  I am so over reactive when my reflexes were tested that they bring in a medical student working in the office and says in front of me we don't see this ofter so would you mind showing the student.  No problem I am willing to help.  They have to learn so how.  They take me off the Lexapro, told me to take one more Clonazepam so I may get a good nights rest. 

At this point I am all good with everything.  I trust my doctors fully and what they said made sense to me.  Well today I get a call from my psychiatrist checking in on me.  Now my doctors emailed him and explained there findings. Now he wants me to go off the Cymbalta too, and start up the Clonazepam again.  I ask a ton of questions as this is not making sense at all.  I can see not taking the Cymbalta, but starting to take the Clonazepam again doesn't sound right.  If I am withdrawing after we tapered it off over several months I would just as soon suffer and be done with it then start the process all over again.

Well, at this point I have a call into my primary doctor and am awaiting a call back. Again I am not sure what to do and how to proceed so I feel better.  I also haven't even brought up about the pharmacy not picking up on these interactions of the Cymbalta, Lexapro, and Flexaril.  So never hesitate to take your treatment into your own hand.  Always ask questions, go with your gut, and research what doctors, nurses, and pharmacists tell you.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0004531/
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0000635/

Fall is Creeping In

Wow, summer is flying by really fast this year.  It was so hot and humid in July you could hardly be outside here in Michigan.  Now August is here and you can smell fall on the horizon.  Not only in the air, but all the fall time activities are starting up even though it is about 3 weeks give or a take a few days till school is back in.

Around our household it is all about football right now.  My baby Caleb is playing his first year of flag football.  Jacob is on his second year of tackle.  We are on the fence if we are making Nicholas play.  That decision must be made by this evening.  I am thinking yes as the attitude is taking a new level.

I have spend most of July up to now recovering from surgery on my ankle.  That has been a blessing, even though I am once again healing slower then normal, and we have had to put of physical therapy until September.  I am just so happy to be on the path to getting it better.  I knew going into to it that my Fibromyalgia would probably slow my healing just like when I had my gallbladder out, but surgery is the first step to being able to walk again.  It will be a year in October since it was sprain the first time with multiple since and since it was not getting better I knew surgery was the option.

I think my boys are ready for school to start up even though not a single one will admit it.  I know I am.  I miss a set schedule.  I also hope that I can get my house in order some with them at school and football practices, but even though my husband, Ed is coaching both teams for the two younger boys I may still have to do the running back and forth to get them there.  But I won't have to stay, as their practices are in another town next to us.  I can come back and get them dinner ready.  Through the fall though it will be taking up 4 evening and Saturdays for about a 1/2 day.

Right now I am trying to see what the boys need for school clothes.  I have asked them to clean up their clothes so I can see what fits and doesn't.  Though I am not holding any breathes there.  I have told them no new clothes if not done.  I am sure they each have some and for September and part of October unless winter blows in early they will wear shorts so no real rush except shoes and maybe a 1st day of school outfit.  Our budget is tight from all the things that have happened in the last year or so.  They will only get what they need probably and that truly is better for us all.  Makes me keep up on laundry and less mess they can make.

I am looking forward to fall.  It is my favorite time of the year.  Weather is usually nice until the end.  Though it is sad to see summer going, especially as fast as it has seemed to have gone.  Before I know it I will be cold and hurting more, but I would miss the seasons changing if I lived somewhere they did not change.  So time to move forward to the stage of this year, embrace what is coming, and get my life on track once more.